by Andrea Askowitz - £11.99 Cleis Press (2008)
paperback ISBN 13: 9781573443159 | ISBN 10: 1573443158
"The woman closest to me is eating Saltines. The sound of her eating makes me want to retch. I wish she would offer me one."
Andrea Askowitz has the best life in the world. She’s pregnant and healthy. She has friends and family who love her. She has money and meaningful work. And all she can do is obsess about the one thing she doesn’t have: Kate, her ex-girlfriend.
My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy is a funny, whiny, all-too-real account of one girl’s true adventure in maternity. From finding a great donor who turns out to be shooting blanks (“I was a lesbian with male fertility problems.”) through all-day morning sickness and graduation into “fat-girl underwear,” Andrea’s life reads like an antidote to sugar-sweet pregnancy guides and memoirs.
In week 8, her sense of smell becomes so strong that she can tell what deodorant people are wearing. In week 28, she plans a pity party, complete with black-only dress code and a violin player: “It isn’t an attempt to make fun of myself, because that would be too joyous.”
Irreverent and whip-smart, My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy is potent therapy for ill-timed break-ups, leg cramps, constipation, and every other downside to a dream come true.
(Price & availability last checked: August 2018)